What are Negative Symptoms of Schizophrenia and How Can They Impact You?
I really dislike when people call me "high functioning." What does that even mean? Where, or in what capacity, do I function better than others? Because I work full-time in the mental health field and because I went on to get my master's degree in psychology...? Does that makes me "high functioning"?
"Low functioning" vs. "high functioning" schizophrenia?
There are so many areas of my life where somedays I think I'm the lowest functioning person with schizophrenia alive. That's why I tend to shy away from terms like "low functioning" and "high functioning."
We all have areas of our lives where we have strengths, and we all have areas of our life where we struggle. Hopefully the strengths weight out the struggles, but we ultimately learn how to compensate.
I struggle with negative symptoms the most
Lately, my struggles sometimes come in the form of dealing with the negative symptoms of schizophrenia. Negative symptoms of schizophrenia are the ones that are more hidden: trouble keeping up with hygiene, apathy, loss of interest, lack of feeling like anything is good, lack of self-care, and just general withdraw from life.
Of all the symptoms, I probably struggle with these the most.
When my positive symptoms were worse
When I was in my early 20s and first dealing with the symptoms of schizophrenia, it was the positive symptoms that affected me most.The positive symptoms of schizophrenia are the ones that are more affective: hearing voices, strange thoughts or delusions, paranoia, and experiencing reality in a different way.
Now that I've lived with this for the past almost 30 years, I find I’m very much more equipped to head off those positive symptoms at the pass and notice my red flags for them earlier. However, those negative symptoms tend to sneak up on me and it's just more of a feeling when they sink in and start to wreak their havoc.
This or That
When coping with a challenge, do you typically...
What are my negative symptoms?
As I sit here writing this, I've just put in a full day of work. However, my greasy hair is hidden by a baseball cap, and I have clean clothes on even though I haven't showered in 2+ days. This is the reality of living with schizophrenia.
Sometimes, I just don't have the motivation/drive/wherewithal to present as I should. Some mornings are more of a struggle than others. Especially if there is something going on in my life that is stressful, overwhelming, or overstimulating. Like right now. I'm dealing with the thought of changing jobs and it's all of those things for me.
Trying to cope through the cycles
While I have wonderful coping skills, they are not always accessible to me due to my thoughts and my feelings when dealing with negative symptoms. I will say, though, that I've gone from a place of shame around this to a place of acceptance.
It's not all the time that I feel this way or go through these cycles, but when they happen, I try to give myself enough grace to get through to when I am doing better.
Not functioning at my best
It's not an easy task to find joy in life all day, every day. And sometimes I feel like I am just skating through. This is coming from someone who has fought her whole life to get better and here I am.
There are just sometimes when I'm dealing with symptoms that I have to realize that this is what they are and this is my "thing" to deal with. It's not every day. It's not every week. But there are periods that I go through where I'm certainly not functioning at my best and brightest.
This or That
When it comes to your treatment, do you...
When depression symptoms hit hard
I've learned to accommodate well. If you knew me, you probably wouldn't even know that I struggle so much with these symptoms. They're along the lines of a weird kind of depression without the sadness. The sadness is replaced by apathy and this weird sense of "unfeeling."
So what can we do about this? There are some days that I force myself to pick up and move forward. There are other days where I simply give myself grace. I know that these cycles don't last forever and I do my best to accommodate.
Will I make it into the shower today?
I try to use other self-care skills in the interim. I prepare myself for things that I have to get done and give myself plenty of time and ease to get them done.
I always know that I will feel better after a shower or after I do some proactive things that feed into my wellness. But some days it's harder than others.
We're doing the best we can with schizophrenia
For all those struggling with negative symptoms, I'd say that because you are struggling does not make you "low functioning"... just differently able to handle what schizophrenia is throwing at you. Ride the tides and things eventually pick up.
Talk to your support team and your natural supports about it. Help them understand that this is something that is real and that you are dealing with in the very best way you can in the moment.